This week I hit a wall.
Probably not literally, but if I had hit one hard enough I might not would have remembered.
About Wednesday, I tried to get started, but couldn’t. I had been on a streak of productivity, creativity, and passion. All of that quickly turned into exhaustion, chaotic focus, and flighty motivation.
I tried to push through, but I couldn’t brute force it. I honestly made a mistake by trying to push through the remainder of the week, but I kept making erratic decisions, unsteady progress (or none at all), and probably creating stressful problems that I will have to deal with in the future (this week).
I overbooked, and I undershowed.
This past June I started several new projects, and hit an all time high in my development speed.
However near the end of June, I got really stuck. I was trying to implement a new framework into one of my programs. I just couldn’t think enough to comprehend the documentation, to dream up any kind of vision, or make any raw progress.
The final week of June I journeyed to the South Carolina mountains for a week. It was a blast to be without any distractions, any todos, or any technology for a week. I could just have candid fun with my friends and take in the mountain air and endless views of beautiful forests.
To say the least, it like brought life back to my soul or something.
…
At the end of the week, I was sleep deprived, full of forest spirit, ready to be home, half insane probably, and feeling like an elf.
What did I do as soon as I got home? No, as soon as I got in the car. I didn’t even take a nap (i should have). I got out my laptop and started coding.
I made more progress on that ride home than I had in any of my efforts the week before I left for South Carolina.
This past day or two, I realized that the week before I left in June was very similar to this past week.
It’s Sunday afternoon when I am writing this. I’m running on sketchy amounts of sleep, and a lot of burnout. I’ve been trying to do too much, and I’ve been stumbling over myself getting nothing done.
I know what I need to do.
I need to become a wood shelf again.
I’ve learned that genuine peace and rest is one of the crucial aspects of a creative and joyful life. Taking a break from work, technology, stimulation, and over-consuming dramatically improves my quality of mind, spirit, and life in general.
I may avoid technology for a little while (or at least try, and quickly learn that i’m chronically online and can’t think of normal person stuff to do anymore). Maybe I’ll make some tea too.
I’m leaving this vortex of stress and chaos I’ve created for myself, and returning to the forest (you’ll never know if that’s a metaphor or not).
If you find yourself stuck in a vortex, I encourage you to find your way back to the forest. We weren’t made to spin in circles until we fall over.
Rest.
scratch all that a grian video just came out aaAAAA
bonk your friend with my story for brownie points